Marriage is Not for Chumps
I am reminded over and over about the Mars Venus thing - how men and women are wired differently. An example recently presented itself when we re-connected with a friend who was also a soon to be groom. He and my husband stepped into another area and gave him some insight. He gave me a bit of an update as we drove home together.
Corvelli asked me if I knew about the pending nuptials. I exclaimed with joy and praised him for counseling and encouraging the young man. I told him if anyone could impart words of wisdom in this scenario, it would be him. Not being too nosy, but certainly curious about the 25 year concentrated nugget of power he'd dropped, I wanted to know where he stood. My heart swelled and paused as I asked what one thing he stressed, and he summed it up in one sentence. He unhesitatingly said, "I told him...
You've got to really want it."
And my heart deflated. I was looking forward to hearing him say anything from the following list:
1. You will want to protect her like a king.
2. Your love for her will carry you though the tough times.
3. This will be the best decision of your life.
4. There will be nothing that you encounter that the two of you won't be able to conquer.
5. If I had to do it all over again, I'd marry Kim at the drop of a hat.
And what do I get?
"You've got to really want it."
After shaking the dust of my romantic feet, I stepped back to take a broader view. And of course I realized the merit of his counsel. In a word, he was advising him that things along the road might get tough, but knowing that up front should prepare him to stand his ground. Stand it not for his ego or his personal desires, but for the sake of the marriage and the legacy that can be built by a couple honoring their vows.
"How bad do you want it?" is a fair question whether you're from Mars OR Venus.
Happily Married,
Coach Kim
